I hate it and love it at the same time. I am learning SO much its ridiculous.
It is not by choice that I am necessarily working, I wish more than anything I could stay home with my baby... But, I am more than grateful for this valuable experience of having this job. I work for Turn a New Leaf for the PACTT (Parents and Children Teaming Together program) as a "Behavior Coach." I go into my clients homes and assist parents with their troubled children. Not only do I work with my clients, but I work closely with parents to teach them all they can about their child's diagnosis and how to cope with it.
I work part time. Luckily the pay is actually worth my time. I get reimbursed for mileage and for any $$ I have to spend on my clients. I also have a labtop (dont get too excited, its pretty much a dinosaur) and a work cell phone. Pretty legit right? I think so too.
Here's what Ive learned so far. In school they stressed the importance of self care. If your going to work in the mental health field you have to take care of YOURSELF so that your work does not effect you everywhere you go. Mental Health is a tough field to work in. I never truly understood this statement until I got this job.
I have two clients. Both I love very much, both are challenging to work with, and both families have different needs. I never truly understood how much this field would effect my life until I started working in it.
- I have to constantly stop myself and think.. Am I talking too much about my job? (to my husband) I am always telling him this that or the other about my job. Poor guy.
-I have to be assertive with my families. (I am not overly assertive, never have been) I prefer the nice way around things, but sometimes there is just no way around it.
-I have had two meltdowns because seeing my client's behaviors and knowing what they are truly capable of KILLS me. Its hard to get them to understand their own potential. I have positive days, and hard hard days.
-I am grateful I married my husband, who is a professional arguer. Literally, he thrives off of proving people wrong (in a friendly and teasing way). Ive picked up on his skills throughout our marriage, mostly to use against him.. but they have come to be quite useful in my job. I argue literally some days, ALL day long with my client.
-I hate having to coordinate child care. Its stressful, so we finally started to pay a babysitter. Although Im super grateful for all the help we received with Maylie up to this point, it just got too hard to coordinate everyone's schedules.
-I want to do MORE than just my job. Its hard to find that line of balance and when and where have I crossed the line of professionalism? At what point am I unprofessional? I have one family who just has so many other needs than just their child. For instance financial needs, and health needs, and food needs. Its hard because I wish I could take it all away, and my brain always goes back to that family and what more can I do to help? I have given them a list of resources, but if they don't help themselves, thats all I am able to do right???
-I was taught in school the importance of being on TIME and being accountable. My easy going personality hated this, but now I truly see the importance. It is so important to be on time, and to attend sessions and not cancel. I see the importance because my clients NEED me. They NEED their services. I am grateful this mentality was instilled in me during school, at least in a professional, work related regards.
-It took me a while to realize this, but this is not just a paperwork job. I am DIRECTLY working in the homes with the client. Which is what I LOVE about the field of social work. I am getting some pretty great hands on experience, however I never realized how taxing emotionally direct service would be. A part of me wishes I could do paperwork.
-I have to act CONFIDENT all the time. A lot of times I truly have to pretend I know what I am saying. Its a happy medium for me because I am not really an overly confident person, and most times I question everything (thats just the way my brain works) however, this whole pretending to be confident thing has really actually boosted my confidence. My clients families now trust me and support me in whatever I do with their child even though I don't always know all the answers.
- I WANT TO GIVE THE FAMILIES I WORK WITH THE GOSPEL. Its so hard to see these people struggle, when I have something I know would alleviate a lot of their pain.
Those are just a a few of my thoughts about my job. Im just working out all the kinks of starting a career. You know, the stuff you always have to learn the hard way.
I know that I am being lead in the right direction though. Heavenly Father is helping me do my work. I am his hands in aiding these people's lives and putting it back together piece by piece. There is no doubt that I AM the one who is supposed to be working with the clients that I have, and they are the ones that were supposed to give me these experiences. No coincidence there.
