Pregnant vs Not Pregnant

Ok people... Ive developed a new found love for my body. its called appreciation. 

I complain and complain all the time ... like im never good enough for myself. I always think im "FAT" ding ding ding.. that key word most of us struggle with.

After Pregnancy....Ive learned to LOVE my body. Basically i'm happy to have it back.

Here are some of my thoughts.

Post Pregnancy: 

-My feet really do fit in size 9 ... not 11.
-I love my legs. They really are skinny. I missed being capable of shaving them
-I have way more energy
-I can get myself around quicker, easier, and don't tire as easy
-Ive lost my "fat girl" appetite (sad to lose this, but I was amazed because I was beginning to get scared)
-I feel NORMAL (in regards to my hormones.) .. Minus the normal baby blues here and there, it feels AMAZING to feel "myself" again, whoever that is.
-I cry way more than when I was pregnant
-No one can prepare you, or tell you how much you can really LOVE a child. Holy crapola
-I never wanted to have another baby. Give yourself a week when you start feeling better and you will want to do it ten more times. Something about childbirth is empowering. I still cant wrap my brain around what my body actually did.
-pregnancy  "boobs" deflated really quick. part of that is because I am not breastfeeding, but man was it sad to see them go bye bye.
-my nails do not grown near as fast :(
-I think you forget what your body "used to be like" .... because you get so fat... but I feel AMAZING. I still have weight to lose, but there is nothing like feeling "skinny" again.
-I never understood women who said "I MISS BEING PREGNANT"... WHAT? who misses that? but now .. I physically sometimes miss being pregnant. Even my husband touches my tummy still out of habit and will apologize. He misses having Maylie in there too. Its weird. I do not miss all the discomfort, but I miss the actuality that a human was inside of me.
-My clothes, minus a few pairs of jeans... finally fit.

Pregnancy: 

-SWOLLEN.
-I ate food literally every 20 minutes because I was starving
-emotional and crazy
-helpless and lazy
-just when you think you cant get bigger and your complaining about how "BIG" you really are at 25 weeks of pregnancy, guess what? You look great, and you WILL be sizably larger come 40 weeks
-large breasts (pregnancy onset)
-long nails, and hair with more volume and body (definitely a benefit)
-cloths, even maternity ones were getting pretty snug
-Hip pain (baby loved my nerve)
-Crotch pain ( I had to sit certain ways, and not walk very much or my crotch would feel really bruised and sore. Doc always said it was just my muscles stretching)
-Dilation and effacement really mean nothing until your body is ready to labor
-Patience is not a virtue while being pregnant. It goes out the door
-im just not that women who LOVES pregnancy or thinks anything about it is beautiful (during) however in hindsight I can see its pretty cool.
-Stretch marks up the wazooo
-Baby moved all the time in my tummy, and the less room there was, the more annoying it got.


Personal Comments: 
Clearly I did not LOVE being pregnant, but after having my child, and falling more in love than I ever thought possible, I truly would do it all...10 more times. Granted though, I think its safe to say number two needs some time before it will be on its way. This mama needs some time to remember what its like to be NORMAL. I guess its all apart of the healing process.

Next pregnancy I will be in better shape. Gain less weight. and try harder to enjoy it. This was my first, so I had nothing to compare it to, but now that I know It doesnt all have to be "bad" ... I would definitely do a few things differently. I would also research more about birth, and better prepare myself so I can have the best possible experience.

Uncle James

Last weekend Huston's brother James came home from his mission. Maylie was only 2 weeks old so we were nervous, but we had a blast and Maylie did awesome meeting all of her family.

James is such a fun brother. He is Huston's best buddy and its fun to have him home. It was so special to be apart of his release. He had to go around the room and tell why he loves each person there and he also bore his testimony and it was special to be apart of.

I must say.. he is pretty normal for a RM. We are loving that!

He also LOVES his niece. It was fun to see him come home and adore her. He is a natural ;)

Parenthood

NOTHING prepares you for this tiny human to enter your life. The way i describe parenthood, is that my heart grew at least 10 sizes larger and it feels like its going to explode ALL the time. I thought I knew what LOVE was? ...

I am so grateful for this opportunity. Thus far, parenthood is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced but with that comes more joy than I have ever felt in my entire life.

I like to think it's Heavenly Father's way of showing us a small glimpse of how he feels for us.

Maylie's Entrance to the World

Dont worry, she took her merry little time, so its kind of a long story.

 proud new daddy. He's obsessed

 First time Grandpa and Grandma's

 First Family Photo. We couldnt stop staring.

Think they were excited????? They only waited outside my delivery door the whole time I was pushing. (I get my virtue of patience from my mother;)) 

 Fresh from Heaven 

 Tiffany spoiled us. Best Banner Employee ever

three generation photo

January 10th was my scheduled 40 week appointment. Still no baby. The doctor checked me, I was progressed a little more to a three and 100% effaced.

He handed Huston and I our induction paperwork for Tuesday the 15th if still no baby, and then asked if he could take my blood pressure one more time. Apparently my reading was a little high for his liking.

Well.. it was high again. So off to Labor and Delivery we went. I was admitted only for blood pressure testing at about 7:30pm and I still was not getting any normal readings, so they called the doctor and he said ok, lets just induce labor then.

The nurses came in and told us we were not leaving without a baby.

I was starving. Asked for food and was DENIED, due to the fact I would be starting Pitocin. If you are ever induced for labor, do yourself a favor and EAT first.

Side note, I had my husband sneak my Mcdonald's but the nurses saw it and stressed the importance of starving me so my husband sat and ate my fries right in front of me. and i will never let him forget it.

I was started on Magnesium Sulfate, because apparently blood pressure that is high can make you seizure and mag would help prevent that. (Little did I know it was seriously the worst possible drug ever. I was so lethargic and swollen my entire labor, and couldn't control my body temp thanks to that stuff.)

Huston left to pack our bag, yep had a feeling i needed to do that, that day but it just didn't get done. Then he and my dad came back to give me a blessing.

They kicked my parents out of Triage, until I was in labor and delivery, but they also said that I should have no visitors because I needed to be as relaxed as possible so my blood pressure would go down.

At about 10pm I was in a nice large labor and delivery room. Doc came in and broke my water, I was started on Pitocin and from then on it progressed pretty quickly. I asked for my epidural at around midnight and when i was dialated to about a five. Once i had the epidural Huston and I both slept.

EPIDURALS are amazing. I couldnt have done it without one. I went from being in like 10 out of 10 pain to 0.

We woke up that morning on the nurses shift change. Turns out during the night my nurse decided that I would progress naturally so she took me off pitocin. So that morning when I was checked, and there was NO progress... We were all a little distraught.

At this point my parents, sister, mother and sister in law, Hawaiian friend Ben Erbe, best friend Kacee, and good friend Tiffany Kleman who worked at the hospital were all in my room chatting as I was resting and trying not to cry that I had made NO progress in over 7 hours. Yep.. I was only dilated to a 5 for almost 12 hours of my labor. No progress.

At around 5 pm my blood pressure peaked, Husband kicked everyone out of my room although I was really enjoying the foot rub Ben was giving me (sounds weird because he is not my husband, but he has alot of massage experience, and really helped my swelling go down) (Thats a good friend right there)

I was finally dilated to a 10. Doc came in, but baby was no where close to coming "down" the canal. I cried. Not because of pain, but because it was starting to be a joke. I was ready to have my baby. Therefore no pushing yet...yep my baby took her merry little time... Lazy little hawaiian....so... Back to sleep I went for about 2 hours and then when I was checked again... It was time to push.

Pushed for an hour and 10 minutes and baby was born at 8:40pm on January 11th. 25 hours later....I was finally given my precious child.

Then.. all i wanted was food. Downed a big mac and fries and a milk shake, and a pop tart, and wheat thin crackers. I was full for all of an hour... then when I was moved to postpartum, my husband ran to the cafeteria and got me pizza. Haha. 25 hours is a long time people. and HARD work.

My baby is perfect. Literally.

I hate ALL of these photos with me in them... I am just not THAT mom with make-up on and looks like I pushed a baby out after only 20 minutes. Sorry, but they are the only memories I have of this moment.

And I would do it again 10 more times.

Funny how the Lord works. He definitely turns something UGLY such as vaginal child birth, into something so beautiful.

Maylie Kalea Farnsworth

Here is my daughter's debut on the blog. Mommy is too tired to think about blogging, but here are a few photos of our lives lately. Its a drastic change, but we are LOVING every second.

Maylie is perfect. Never cries, will go to just about anyone and be content, has her days and her nights mixed up, eats like a champ, poops like one too, and is the most serious toot. She is starting to be awake and aware more often, and her eyes could pierce your soul.

Maylie Kalea 8lbs 20inches long

Condensed Update

Dec. 15th Graduation. Best day ever. That feeling of no more homework and being finished with school. We were on cloud 9 all day long. Dad and Shelly came to spend the special day with us, and we had a blast hosting them, although im sure it was not as fun for them helping us get moved and ready to leave the island for GOOD. I don't think its hit us yet, that our ticket was only 1 WAY.

Dec. 16th. We boarded a plane to Arizona and moved out of our little love nest. It was such a bittersweet, but mostly bitter day. I cried pretty much all day. This whole moving and dealing with so much change thing at 9 months pregnant was not my idea I promise. The plane ride sucked. My legs got soo swollen and I had to lay down. But alas, we arrived and are residing in the wonderful paradise desert of Arizona.

Dec. 18th. First doctor's appointment with the new doctor in Arizona. I was measuring larger that usual, and dilated to a ONE and effaced 80% already so he moved my due day up a week to January 13th.
YIKES! Anyday now.. is what we are hoping. Im so DONE being pregnant. Reasons being: Im extremely emotional. I cry mostly ALL the time. Im getting heavier by the second, and its hard to maneuver my body around, and I get super sore.

Christmas: The Holiday was wonderful. We did the traditional Christmas Eve thing with the Farnsworth side, which is a big party and white elephant exchange, then we came to my parents house where we go to the Temple to see the lights, get hot cocoa, and open our PJ's. Santa was really good to us. He brought me my Gliding rocking chair, which is the only thing I was asking for, for the baby, and Huston got some man tools since we are now in a more permanent situation.
Christmas morning we enjoyed time with both sides of the family, but mostly slept and ate food all day long. We also skyped with both brothers. :) James who will be home in 3 weeks and Jenson who is coming up on his year mark.

Lakeside: After Christmas we went to Lakeside for a few days. It was wonderful and FREEZING! It snowed and we played and relaxed. I love it up there so much. Way too many memories. We spend most of our time with my cousin's Danny and Marleah, it was great to hang out again with them.

New Years: Traditional dinner with the Rainey's (my parents) and then traditional polar swim at Uncle Ray's house. I opted out this year, although I shouldn't have, it probably would have helped speed up my labor.

How we have been staying busy: Mostly shopping and spending tons of time EATING and SLEEPING and being with our families.

Disclaimer: Huston has not started a job hunt yet. We both wanted an ACTUAL break for a little while. He will begin doing so as soon as I begin my internship Jan. 8th, which is vastly approaching.
We also have kind of been waiting for baby to make her arrival.

Im sorry if any of you feel ignored. We also have decided that for at least these first two/three weeks we would dedicate our time only to our families while they all off work. Its simple, we are not going anywhere!!!!!!!!! This year, our ticket was only ONE way, and we just needed a little time to adjust.

I also have more photo's to post, I just have to upload them to my computer :)

Blog Resolutions

Currently I have a few resolutions for this blog:

Finish all DRAFTS from 2012. I have 9. Plus a million December posts

Learn to enjoy it. For some reason I don't like blogging anymore. it's a chore, but a super convenient way to journal so I need to continue.

Add a little more creativity to writing so its more interesting to read

Those 3 sound small but reasonable to achieve right now.