My heart is about to EXPLODE

LONG POST WARNING: my feelings on General Conference

Words cannot describe to you how much i needed General Conference this time. I don't think i have ever felt less prepared to watch it, but have gotten SO much from it. I have a lot i need to work on which is usually what I get from general conference, but this time was different. I received the most direct answers to my prayers, our prayers. More direct than i have ever received one before.

This is the first time I am expressing my feelings about this on the blog. its pretty personal, and I'm pretty adamant about it. I just feel So much gratitude, and like it is time to share because my testimony has grown so much from this trial.

I don't want to bore you all so ill give you a short run down, and that is that we have a strong desire to begin our family. My husband is more than ready to become a father, and I am ready to be a mom. We have prayed and fasted, and felt strongly about starting our family at this point in our lives. We have had this desire for almost a year now and we know and have received answers to our prayers that we should begin our family(maybe thats the frustrating part). Constant prayers and pleading with the lord has required all of our patience. My husband is a rock, and understands fully God's plan, but me.. I have tendency to question it. I get so frustrated when i hear my friends are pregnant, or that a 16 year old who lost her virginity for the first time got pregnant on her first try.
The question i seem to always ask is... dun dun dun.. WHY? Heavenly Father, Huston and I are doing things right, we are in school, we work hard, we pray, we keep the commandments, we have an eternal marriage, why are we not blessed with our righteous desire??
 I know that eventually it will happen, but it is just so hard for me to accept that its not NOW (I get this trait from my mother). I know there are women who are infertile and I am the one who is complaining, and i know that 10 months is no time at all in the eternal realm, however it is such a deep desire that it has required ALL of my patience. I am at my last straw.
(I could go on forever)

But then... Robert D. Hales spoke.
Robert D. Hales are you speaking to me personally? I think you are! My insides wanted to fall out and my jaw was dropped. I was not even crying, just in utter disbelief that this man is saying every word I have been waiting to hear. I couldn't put my pen down, or write fast enough. The Lord spoke to me Sunday through Robert D. Hales. And he said...

Wait for me Kilie. Do not give up on me. I will bless you. Thy WILL be done.

Robert D. Hales said that it is our duty to Wait upon the Lord, and that everything that happens in this earthly life is for our own experience. But what exactly does it mean to Wait upon the Lord? It means to have hope, to anticipate, and to TRUST him. We can do this by showing Faith, Diligence, and Patience.
He also said to endureth for one night, and that night may seem long and hard, but Joy WILL come in the morning. Too often, we pray and plead with the Lord for patience, yet we want it NOW. Does that make any sense? If we shall wait upon the Lord, we will renew our stregnth.

I know that he said many more amazing and comforting words in his talk, but those were just some of my favorite. I needed to hear every word, and I felt comforted in knowing that my Heavenly Father WILL bless us. He has not forgotten us, he knows our prayers, he knows our hearts and our desires. That is all i truly needed to know, and Elder Hales could not have put that knowledge into my heart in any better way.

I am learning in my D&C class that in order to have true Faith, we need to start with some sort of knowledge base. That is my knowledge base. I can move forward now, in full Faith...knowing that Heavenly Father has heard my/our prayers. He will bless us. He has not forgotten. We just need not give up.

and As my husband and I were talking last about talks we felt really truly made sense to us, Huston said to me..." Kilie, your Heavenly Father loves you SOOO much.  He knows that you have a hard time with him testing your patience. He KNOWS and because he knows he spoke to an apostle on YOUR behalf, to tell the rest of the world that it is going to be ok." - Pretty powerful statement if I do say so myself.

I believe that.